Divorce brings with it numerous emotional and social challenges for the spouses in question. The unbearable frequent emotional breakdowns and distress are not easy to handle. Clearly, arguments are unavoidable during this last phase of marriage, and spouses are often involved in rough confrontations.
As family lawyers, we believe that in the thick of the debate about who is right and who is wrong, it is typically the innocent children who bear the bulk of the impact. Unfortunately, parents are so preoccupied with their own grievances that they completely disregard their children’s mental and emotional health during this time.
According to a study by World Psychiatry, children of divorced parents are often at a higher risk of experiencing adjustment problems. The latter is frequently manifested by cases of persistently low school grades, strange behavioural changes, social alienation, violent outbursts, and so forth. Surprisingly, the majority of these issues are caused by mistakes made by the parents during and after divorce.
As a parent, if you do not pay attention to this side of the tale, you may unknowingly push your child into a deep well of despair. In worst-case scenarios, the children could become drug addicts, engage in criminal activity, or indulge in reckless sexual behaviour.
Being family law experts, we have outlined the most prevalent missteps that lead to the aforementioned outcomes. Avoid these for the betterment of your children.
Common Mistakes Parents Make During A Divorce
Undeniably, divorce is not a very happy occasion. But it is crucial to understand that it, nevertheless, requires mature handling of matters. Especially if you have children.
Therefore, you should never:
1. Violently Argue In Your Children’s Presence
Your marriage might have taken an unhappy turn, but you are still the same loving parents for your kids. Witnessing their mom and dad throw unkind and insulting words at each other will shatter their little world. Remember, your children are not old enough to understand the nature of your disputes.
Therefore, keep them away from such conflicts as much as possible.
For your children’s sake, we advise you to maintain your composure and remain respectful to each other in their presence. However, you may reveal your thoughts to each other privately if the need arises (without becoming aggressive).
2. Bribe Kids To Display Partiality
A child’s mind is like a mold of clay. This is the time of their lives when you can play a part in shaping their thoughts, perspectives, and opinions positively. However, numerous family lawyers report that during a divorce, parents are so compelled to bring each other down that they use their children as pawns.
To drag the children onto their side, spouses are often seen ‘offering’ their kids ‘gifts’ in return for their support. While it might seem to be a good idea given the situation at hand, it will eventually lead to dangerous notions infiltrating your child’s mind. They will foresee this exchange as something they could ask for in other instances as well.
In the long term, this small trick might backfire.
3. Speak Ill Of The Other Parent To The Kids
Regardless of who is to blame, children should never be subjected to such harsh realities about their parents. Even if your partner is at fault, do not express your problems to minors. They aren’t old enough to comprehend the complexities of divorce.
Although a parent has the right to rely on their children for emotional support, they should never make the other parent seem like a culprit in the situation.
If you speak ill of your spouse behind their back to your children, know that they might do the former and do the same to you. As a result of the confusion, your kids will become estranged from both of you.
Children love both their parents equally, and should not be asked to take sides.
5. Fail To Follow The Daily Routine
During a divorce, your priority should be to keep your children’s lives as stress-free as possible. Although the perplexion and pain of having their parents part ways are inevitable, this can be minimized to some extent. If both of you show your willingness to keep your child’s daily life as normal as possible, the child will feel secure and at peace.
However, instead of focusing on getting life back on track, some parents make the mistake of fully forsaking their everyday activities that they had as a family previously. The latter further frustrates the children and makes them more vulnerable to stress and anxiety.
About Peak Family Law
Boasting a team of top-rated family lawyers in Edmonton, Peak Family Law is a law firm that seeks to diligently handle all the matters associated with a divorce. Be it the division of assets or child custody, our firm will assist you in every matter regardless of the complexity. Contact us now to learn more.